Friendships

My biggest fear... losing friendships. I have lost a lot so many times this year and I keep trying to figure out why none of my friendships work out. Some people don't like who I have become and others don't like it when I try to change. Truth is, I don't know who I am. I can't figure it out because ever since I found out what a horrible person I was to a specific person, I have spent the rest of my time trying to change that. I was selfish then and now I am trying to make everyone else around me happy. Why is it that I can't be happy without everyone else's judgments. I'm trying to make an effort to keep you as a friend, so please acknowledge that. Help me be happy as well because that's what friends are supposed to do. I'm tired of asking, "Who am I?"